eat some snickers bar, throw some paper on the floor, read a newspaper

Next time a man calls you a fucking faggot, you get in that ass, Larry, know what I mean? You get in that ass, Larry. That's what the fuck you do. You let that man slide today. You gotta immediately get in somebody's ass when that happens to you. You pull their asshole open, step into their asshole, close the door behind you, pick up your spray-paint can, right? "Larry was here." You spray-paint "Larry was here", "wash me", all that kind of shit, fuck his whole asshole up, eat some snickers bar, throw some paper on the floor, read a newspaper, ball the paper up, the newspaper, and throw the newspaper on the floor, fuck his whole asshole up, you know what I'm saying? Then you open that asshole one more time, step out of his ass and leave that motherfucker wide open, so he knows you've been there.

Seinfeld de 2009

George: Well, I'll never meet anyone else again.
Jerry: Probably not.
George: Meeting is hard.
Jerry: Meeting is hard. Why can't you meet?
George: Can't meet. Why is that?
Jerry: This is what single people are thinking about the minute they wake up in the morning. And yet we're surrounded by people. They're right next to us on the bus, on the street. But we can't meet them.
George: Why won't they meet us?
Jerry: Because strangers have a bad reputation.
George: A few bad strangers that ruined it for the rest of us.

(Entretanto, a Elisabeth Shue voltou a aparecer mais três minutos.)

As far as I know...

Na actual temporada de Curb Your Enthusiasm, o elenco de Seinfeld é reunido para fazer um episódio dez anos depois do último. O elenco alargado, com a mãe do George, Newman e tudo. Tenho visto todos logo que consigo, mas calhou que saltei sem me aperceber do episódio sete para o nove e perdi um que me foi descrito por uma pessoa atenta a sinopses como "aquele em que a Elisabeth Shue aparece e faz uma proposta lésbica à Cheryl, agora ex-mulher de Larry David". Não esperava que a presença da Elisabeth Shue se limitasse a uns três minutos de ecrã, no máximo, e sobretudo que não houvesse proposta nenhuma (bom, houve mas noutros termos), mas posso assegurar que está tudo bem com esses três minutos. Se isto não chegar para convencer as pessoas, posso acrescentar ao post o seguinte diálogo algures pelo fim do episódio:

Jeff - Listen, I got big fucking news. I got a call from Virginia [a Elisabeth Shue, pois]. She can't do the part, she's in a neck brace.
Larry - You're kidding.
Jeff - No.
(...)
Larry - What... What happened?
Jeff - She wouldn't tell me. I said, "what happened?" and she said, "it's not important."
Larry - Hmm.
Jeff - Yeah.
Larry - Interesting.
Jeff - What?
Larry - As far as I know...
Jeff - Yeah?
Larry - ... There's only two ways you can injure your neck.
Jeff - mm-hmm.
Larry - One is a car accident.
Jeff - Yeah.
Larry - The other's cunnilingus.
Jeff - Mm-hmm.
Larry - If it wasn't a car accident, she injured her neck going down on Cheryl.
Jeff - Cheryl? Oh my god.
Larry - Yes! They had a menage a trois.
Jeff - You don't know that. It could've been a car accident. You don't know.
Larry - Let's check her car.